"The Twenties"

Sorry I haven't been posting this week. The truth is things are pretty crazy right now in my personal life. I am trying to juggle a lot of changes in all areas and am finding not much time to do anything else in between.

The name of my blog is My Quarterlife Chaos. I had toyed with the words crisis and catastrophe also but realized that there is some beauty in the unknown so settled on the more neutral word, chaos. Let's face it, being in your twenties is a "bleeping" mess. No one ever warned me about this. There are no articles in my Shape, Self or Cosmo Magazines about surviving your twenties. No one in my life ever warned me about the mind games you can play on yourself in your twenties. Maybe once you look back on your twenties, you remember it in a more desirable light of being young and free, as what often happens with many other challenging years.

People warned me about being a teenager, they warned me about college, but no one warned me about the terrifying time between graduating and settling down into an "adult life". I have been told "I run" and "I hop" a lot. Many people don't understand how I can transition jobs or move around so often. The truth is I'm not scared of change. I'm more scared of feeling like my life can no longer change. That I'm stuck. That I can't move to a whole different kind of career or challenge.

When you are in your twenties you have no one telling you that you are doing the right thing. You finally have to trust your intuition alone and hope that everything will turn out alright and you will be able to continue paying your electricity bills. Sitting in a cubicle all day working on excel sheets can feel self-serving. How am I affecting the world? Am I using my talents? Is this my dream? What's my passion? How do I know that I'm going to be able to be successful in five or ten years based on the job I'm doing now?

I have had more meltdowns about my job, my location, what I want and what I need in the past 4 years than ever before. I spend 75% of the time trying to figure out what I want, and the other 25% defending my choices and actions to my family and friends.

Speaking to my interns this summer, I hear all about their woes of graduating college into a poor job market with no full-time job prospect. I feel for them, I really do. I remember graduating from college and having nothing. It was an AWFUL time. I had always relied on my grades, classes and friends to give me a baseline of success. After graduating Magna Cum Laude and having two amazing internships under my belt, I thought that after sending out at least 50 resumes a day, something would come along fast. This just wasn't the case and I felt completely worthless. I hated not knowing what was going to happen and felt so depressed sitting home trying to figure it out. I didn't receive my first job offer until August, which I immediately jumped on regardless of the smaller salary and hour and a half driving commute. Looking back, I see that last summer that I had off before entering the real-world as a beautiful time. It was a transition period. Things ended up working out, and they worked out FAST. I was way too hard on myself and should have relied and trusted in someone up there having a bigger plan for me.

I know that my words of advice and reassurance go into the new graduates' minds and out their ears as fast as I speak them. No one was able to comfort me then either.

Now, looking at them in this time of seasonal transition, it is interesting to reflect on my own feelings. In this time of change, I would hope that from my past experiences I could now handle it with a little bit more grace. Not every day is easy, and I can quickly fall back into the dark hole of not knowing what I'm doing with my life. I don't know the answers and I surely don't know the soothing words to try to calm me down. I try to focus on my husband and the pieces of my life that stay true, my family and friends. Hopefully I will not feel this way for the next 6 years, until I reach the big 3-0, but until I feel a little bit more settled and at peace, I will just try to sit back and have a little faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

I'm A Woman Hear Me Roar!

For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I have made a few comments regarding Marissa Mayer. If you don’t know who Marissa Mayer is, she is the new CEO of Yahoo. She left Google to come to Yahoo and she is the youngest Fortunue 500 company CEO at just 37. Since being appointed, Marissa has made some questionable comments regarding feminism to the press.

I have read many articles voicing opinions about Marissa’s comments and though I thought I had moved on and left the topic in the dust, I can’t seem to stop my fascination with reading more about her.

Here’s the thing, I consider myself a feminist, I always have and always will. For those of you who know me, you know how I am pretty outspoken about female equality and rights. My first research paper was on Gloria Steinem and ever since I am just addicted to reading about strong women.

My ideas of feminism though, aren’t topical and aren’t complex. Women have a different chemical and hormonal make-up than men. I highly recommend anyone who is a woman or man to read “The Female Brain” by Louann Brizendine for a ridiculously interesting book about the reasons women act, think and feel the way they do. It gave me huge insight into the actual scientific and medical differences between a man and a woman.
Based on the book, women have different interests and feelings about topics than men. One of the key points in this book is that women feel more validated by a social job at a certain age. I don’t mean what I am saying in a limiting way at all, I know everyone is different but this really resonated with me. I used to love math and be satisfied in an analytics position but as I have grown up I haven’t felt as validated at a desk job with little to no interaction. This confused me and left me frustrated with my current position. Reading more about how my mind and body worked left me feeling a lot more understood and normal. Women's horomonal makeup have them feel gratified by working in a social setting and communicating with people around them.

In terms of feminism as a whole, it’s human nature to find things that you relate to with other humans. I think that being a female is something that should be celebrated. As social creatures, women like to share the challenges and joys of being a woman in these modern times. I don’t need to tell people that I’m a woman and have a full-time job and support myself in NYC to make a statement about how great and capable I am. Instead, I think it’s more about looking at the history and acknowledging that we weren’t allowed to do this before and now we are. Not that we weren’t capable, not that we weren’t smart enough, simply because society didn’t allow for it. The fact that we had some powerful revolutionists that shaped our society for today is something that should be celebrated!

I don’t know if reading about Marissa and her decisions is something I’m captivated by because she is a female leader getting a lot of press or if it is like a train wreck and I just can’t look away from. When Marissa declared that she doesn’t consider herself a feminist there was an uproar from women everywhere. Comments included how Marissa should acknowledge that if it weren’t for feminists she wouldn’t be able to hold the title she holds today. Marissa said that she believes she is just as capable as a man. Duh- Marissa! Us feminists don’t think we aren’t capable but want equal rights anyway. It’s not about saying we can now do the things men do- we always had the ability to, we just didn’t have the power.

I think what makes me most sad is that we lack very public women role models. Marissa shouldn’t look at her job as just that to run Yahoo but more as a symbol of the American Dream. When I was growing up I didn’t have a strong female business leader to look up to. I looked up to my female teachers and family. There is a dual role to that of a modern age feminist, besides continuing to prove our intelligence and capabilities, it is our job to educate the younger generation about our history and what they are capable of achieving.  Not everyone has grown up with the same privileges and opportunities so it is important to raise awareness to young girls that their career opportunities are limitless.

Marissa Mayer should take a step back from the enthralling business black hole.  She needs to look around and notice that she has the opportunity to change a lot more lives than just those of the people who use Yahoo.  Hey, who knows, she might even get a little more job gratification that way.

My Sale Picks

Happy Friday everyone!  August is bringing us a lot of good stuff on sale!  See my picks below:

Stella and Dot Serpent Bangle: $34.30

 

  Reiss Silk Tank Dress: $142                   

 

Ash Great Bis Shoe via Piperlime: $89.97

I am obsessed with mustard right now!

 

Anthropologie Elixir Loop Top: $39.95

 

Ella Moss Faux Wrap High/Low Skirt via Bloomingdales: $41.16

Arts and Crafts on a Saturday Night- The Life of the Married

In an effort to not neglect my new husband, I wanted to plan a special day for him. I cleaned the apartment, made dinner (in the crock pot, which counts) and baked him a cake. After dinner, I had a little something special planned...

Ale is an extremely artistic person, he cooks, draws, paints, writes etc. I, on the other hand, am the least artistic person.

In high school, I was forced to take two art classes. My first art class my teacher gave us a picture to try to recreate. I was so proud that I recreated this picture the best I could.  At the end of class, I brought it up to my teacher with pride, just to get scolded. It turns out this was supposed to be a semester long project, not done in 45 minutes.

Anyone who knows me, knows I have a lot of upstanding qualities, patience not being one of them. Patience and art go hand-in-hand. You have to get the lines drawn correctly, take the time to create something, pay attention to the details, etc. etc blah blah blah. I don't have tolerance for any of that. To make a long story short, my second art class which was ceramics, I hired a classmate to make me the final project pot; and that my friends, is why I'm great at business.

Since Ale's creative juices have probably just about dried up living with me, I decided to take him to Make Meaning. This is basically a large studio that you pay a sitting fee for and can do a variety of things. You can paint ceramics, make jewelry, make soap, make a candle, or decorate a cake.

When we walked in Ale's eyes lit up- he was totally in his element. I, on the other hand, was more focused on the frozen yogurt I was promised as a reward.

We decided to paint pottery. We went over to the shelf where you could pick your pottery. Ale headed right to the kids section where they had piggy banks and characters to paint. I asked him to please make something a little bit more functional like a picture frame or mug since this was going to inevitably end up in our apartment. He sighed and came over, unenthused about everything. In the meantime, I decided to make a jewelry box, in hopes of acquiring more jewelry once we make it past the paper anniversary. I could tell Ale was totally uninspired by the picture frames and mugs so I just gave up and told him to pick whatever. He immediately b-lined for a large dinosaur piggy bank.

We gathered our colors and headed back to our table. Ale immediately started painting. I stared at my jewelry box for a good 30 minutes. The people who worked at Make came around and asked me what was wrong. I hadn't even realized it but I had broken out into a severe panic and sweat.

I have no artistic vision. Lucky for me the employees at Make were amazing and had the patience of Saints.  They sat and talked to me and recommended that I look things up on my phone. I eventually decided to go with stripes. I asked them for a ruler and they laughed at my request. Thankfully, they cut a piece of paper in a line for me.  I drew my pattern (of stripes) out in pencil first. Little did I know that the pencil I was using didn't burn off in the kiln. The wonderful employees at Make then took my pottery and sanded it down so I could start fresh. They also helped me number my paints so that I could remember which I was using for my second and third coats.  For some odd reason, no one else in the room had to have their paints numbered.

After two hours, Ale and I had finished our masterpieces. After the employees stopped admiring Ale's for his insane creativity of painting scales (I know, I don't get it either). We handed in our pottery. It takes four days for them to fire it and should be ready tomorrow to pick up.

I must admit Make is an awesome place. If I even had one hair of artsy talent I would be sure to go there often. The employees are really fun and friendly and the environment is a great change of pace. I'm happy Ale takes me to places outside my comfort zone and in return, I can't wait for the day that I can take him to the ballet-

Oh and by the way, the frozen yogurt was delicious.

Halevy Life

In my effort to experience new fitness programs in NYC I came across Halevy Life.  Halevy Life is a boutique gym in the Upper East Side.  I know the word "boutique" can sometimes be scary when it comes to the fitness world.  It can often be associated with snotty or expensive.  Let me assure you, I don't do well with snotty and expensive and Halevy Life is anything but that. 

I scheduled my first appointment with Courtney.  She explained to me that there were two types of training sessions, private and semi-private.  The semi-private sessions never have more than four people.  Being a fan of energy when exercising, I tried out the group training.

I arrived Friday afternoon 30 minutes early as directed.  One of the trainers took a machine that looked like a huge ruler and did some measurements of my movements.  My biggest pet peeve when I try a new exercise program is usually that they insist on weighing and measuring you.  I think this is just a way to make clients feel bad and sign up for more sessions (believe me, I will know when I have toned up when my Reiss dress zips up again.)  The measurements here were more like posture and strength measurements.  They wanted to have a record of different strengths and movements of your body so they can adjust and personalize exercises to help you correct them.

The Founder of Halevy Life, Jeff Halevy then sat down with me and talked to me about his program.  Basically, Jeff designed a program of three times a week that varies day-to-day.  The neat thing is that they give you a heart rate monitor to wear and a paper with all of the exercises so that you can record the weights you use.  They then enter everything online and you can access all of your workouts.  Isn't the digital world amazing????

 

After speaking to Jeff, it was time to show the gym my moves.  There was only one other person in my training class.  We began with a series of warmup exercises.  Next, they put us on the treadmill for sprints.  Don't worry- they really aren't that bad, you are on the treadmill for 40 seconds than off for 20.  Next we did two different strength circuits.  There are heavy, medium and light days (no this doesn't mean hard, medium and easy).  This is designed so that some days you are using heavier weights and doing more reps while other days you are doing higher reps and lighter weights.  To finish we did a group of stretches.

I have been to Halevy twice and so far I am super impressed.  With good music and down to earth trainers, the vibe is more of a gym hangout than an intense fitness program.  I got a first time package which gives me about 6 sessions for 30 bucks a session and I have only had one other person in my sessions each time!  Where else can you find personalized training in NYC for that price?  There are morning and evening sessions.  The trainers are all super supportive and nice and there is a great sense of community and friendliness in the room.  Overall, this is not an intimidating enviornment at all and a great way to switch up your workout routine.

Try it and let me know what you think!

Are You Ready to Crumble??

I woke up this morning and got ready for work with Ale as per the usual workweek schedule.  I had a large project for work today so I was slightly on edge throughout the morning.  Before leaving, Ale said “Are you ready to crumble?”  This is not the typical spousal support one would expect so I looked at him and sarcastically said “Thanks Babe”.  He repeated his terms of endearment like nothing was wrong “Are you ready to crumble?” I started to grow frustrated and said that was enough and he was being rude.  The conversation continued as follows:
Ale: “Why is that rude?”
Me: “Do you know what crumble means?”
Ale:  “No what?”
Me being slightly over dramatic as per usual: “Basically fall down and fail.”
Ale: “Then why do people always say that?”
Me: Starting to translate “Oooo do you mean are you ready to rumble?”
Ale: “Ya, that’s it”

This is a typical day in our household and after hurdling over that language barrier we both had a good laugh.

Happy Monday everyone!

The Sarcrifices of Sharing Your Space

I moved into a newly renovated one bedroom apartment in March.  It was my first apartment that was not shared and I was so excited to finally decorate it the way I wanted.  I took time to choose my beautiful mahogany furniture and it took me months to find my peacock rug and my ivory leather chair...

I never thought that this apartment would be the first apartment that I lived in with my husband.  I knew we wanted to get engaged but I didn't think it would happen so fast.  One of the biggest adjustments has been sharing the space with him.

When he first came I remember laughing when he opened one of the closets to try to fit some clothes in.  I could barely fit my stuff in my two closets so why would he think there would be room for him?  Ale, the creative genius that he is, waited until I was at work to walk himself to Bed Bath & Beyond and buy extra shelves and storage bins for his clothes.  When I came home that night, I had no idea of the crime that had been committed to my beautiful clothing because all appeared normal from the outside.  When I finally opened one of my closet doors I was more surprised then horrified.  Surprised that this man was just moving me over to make a home for himself.

Things have since been appearing that have been a little bit more disruptive than the rearranged closet... Some people may even walk into my apartment and think I have a small child living inside.

First there was the candy shelf.  Ale has only sweet teeth while I have always tried to not eat as much sugar.  Every time he has visited in the past, he has always toted his bags of candy with him.  By the end of his trip, I was 5 pounds heavier and addicted to sugar and he was on his merry way.  I warned him that if he was coming for longer there would be no Nutella, Reeses or Lindt in my house.  One day I came home from work to find him rearranging my dishes.  I didn't think much of it as he is a chef and likes to have the kitchen a particular way.  When I went back to check and see his progress later on, I found two cabinets completely emptied out and boxes of Godiva, Lindt, Reeses, Snickers and Hershey Chocolates in it's place. In an effort for compromise, I try to forget about his shelf and in return he cannot leave his sweets anywhere else. It seems to be working fine, except for the fact that my dishes no longer fit in my cabinets.

After that lovely redesign, and many other pieces of candy "falling" into my grocery cart. There have also been a few other changes, such as clothes on my beautiful ivory chair, an action figure of Thor looking down on the shelf over the kitchen table and a hot pockets doll laying on the side of my bed.

My apartment may no longer be the beautifully designed home that I spent so long building but it's now a place of love and laughter for me and my husband.  The Thor over my kitchen table has become a conversation piece and when I'm just dying for a piece of chocolate, I know where to find it.

Fit and Witty in the City

It probably doesn’t come as a surprise to anyone that knows me that I like working out.  No, not in the way where I can hop out of bed at 5am every morning and run 5 miles. Instead, more in the way that because I have been sitting at my desk all day I need to do something to make my body tired to match my tired mind- (I know that explanation may have disappointed some of you.) The truth is, I need to work out for my own peace of mind.  I had always been an active kid growing up and was involved in many sports.  By the time I was in high school, I started seeing it more as a great resume-booster than as something I liked to do.  It became a chore and because of that my performance in some sports was lacking.

In college I found a great love for running after my boyfriend broke up with me.  I ran to Led Zeppelin and Brand New until I forgot about his ugly face.  This habit of running lasted far beyond my relationship with my ex and built up during my time in college.  At the end of college, I became obsessed with Spinning again, by taking a class twice a week.  I even became certified as an instructor.

Since graduating, I have been pretty involved in weight training classes that gyms put on.  I have been part of Equinox and New York Health & Racquet Club.  I also had a trainer for about 6 months. I have tried most of the classes offered in the gyms.  Pilates bores and frustrates me and yoga is insane.  I understand that if I had more patience I could probably get invested in yoga and see huge changes but I’m more of a sweaty loud music kind of person.  My mind is never going to still.  I also don’t like the weird breathing exercises.

In theory I like Zumba, I tried it once and was amazed that I still had hips that could move, though not well.  I made a pact during class that I would keep attending to find my sexiness again, yet somehow never made it back.

So, I can tell you about quite a few classes but my goal is to find some new fitness ideas in NYC.

I’m here to ask you, what are your favorite fitness classes or programs?

Babbling Italian and English

In an effort to get cultured and be able to speak to my inlaws, my Mom has taken it upon herself to download every Iphone Italian app on the market.  She showed Ale and I the Babbel app yesterday, which proceeded to keep us busy.  She downloaded the Italian app and the idea behind it was to hear an Italian vocabulary word and repeat it.  The app would then rank you from 0-100 and you would need above a 50 to proceed to the next word.  It clearly did not take long to get into a serious competition between my Italian husband and I using this app.  What I was positive I said correctly in Italian, Babbel would tell me I would only get about a 20.  Ale would then whisper the word, and pass with a 70.  The app was such a hard grader that I decided to download the English app and give my tri-lingual husband a run for his money.

That night we decided to test Ale’s English skills.  He immediately started saying these English words in his heavy Italian accent and passing through the game with all scores in the 70s and 80s.  The most amusing part of our game was when the category “animal sounds” came up and it taught Ale how to “meow, woof and cocka-doodle-doo”.  I must admit that I wish I could give you all a video of Ale trying to pass the “meow” round without an Italian accent.  Honestly Babbel, why are you telling my husband that English speakers need to know this?  As my frustration with his success grew, it became clear that the English version was a lot more lenient than the Italian version.  My frustration finally hit a boiling point and when they said “spaceship” I screamed “this is bullshit” and passed with a 74.

My First Installation

I have written blogs before.  This isn’t my first go-around. There were a few problems with my old blogs: 1. Too much focus 2. They were private.  Reason number 2 is obviously a lame excuse, but I’m a pretty private person.  I don’t have a Facebook and it took me years to make my Twitter public, maybe I’m anti-social.  Reason number 1 is pretty lame too.  I always started a blog with a theme.  I had blogs for different components of my life like health, feminism etc. I thought that I needed focus in my blog and that was pretty limiting.

Well, I’m here to tell you the good and the bad news.  This time around there is no theme or focus.  That’s the good news and the bad news.... so if something interests you on the blog, awesome.  If something doesn’t interest you, at least it interests me.